I’ve been trying to figure out why I have been feeling so ripped apart emotionally lately. I’ve got one thing going on that really isn’t that traumatic, my car’s in the shop. Though, I have to say, for a few days, it was touch and go. When he said that it might be totaled, I was a wreck. I’m not ready to talk about why it was so upsetting to me, because well, I’m just not ready. But I will say, my car will not be totaled, and it’s getting repaired.
But with that resolution, I still feel like a mess, and all I can think of is, I’m in mourning right now.
I’m in mourning because what I supported for so long, was not what I thought it was. You see, when Five Finger Death Punch released, “Got Your Six”… I guess. I was under the impression that the five guys that created that music, actually believed in what it meant. From what I understand the term to mean is, I got your back.
I got to wondering about this stuff I was reading and went and dug a little deeper. All I remember from the stuff I read, is all the negative talk about Ivan Moody.
And all I can think of is, is if it was that bad, why didn’t they do something about it? If you truly actually CARED about someone, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to get that person help? Instead of watching them do a downward spiral? These guys had access to him every day, yet, that behavior went on? Instead they talked smack ab out him. They were all talk. No action.
I know that situation sucks. Trust me. I’ve been that person who had to do the talking. And it did suck. But would I take it back? Hell no, because they thanked me. It was awkward for a little while. But they thanked me.
Maybe if they would have put more thought into that greatest hits album, I wouldn’t be able to tell no sincere thought went into that. Otherwise, “Never Enough” would have been on it.
I am mourning, because the men that I thought meant what they were “endorsing” didn’t mean it.
Really though, it really disappoints me more than anything else, that these guys could have at least helped Ivan. Some how. Don’t act dumb, where there’s a will there’s a way. All you had to do is TRY.
I’m mourning for Ivan, because really, who does have that guys back? I’m glad he’s sober, and dude, stay that way. Life’s good if you just look past the bullshit. I promise. but I think you’re figuring that out yourself.