I’m sick of sitting home on Saturday night

It’s not like I have to have a wild mad cap life, by any means. But I’m pretty sick of always sitting at home. I also however, do not enjoy the company of all of my neighbors. The peeps downstairs, are good peeps. But they’re younger than I am. They’ve also got little ones. Max doesn’t like their puppy, and the only reason I can think of, is the fact that he is only a year old. Max forgets he was once that young.. 🙂

They’ve got good dogs too, and I enjoy them. However, today, I really didn’t want to be around anyone today. I really just don’t feel like socializing.

I’ve come to not enjoy city life anymore. I really don’t want to be in the city much longer. Not that I’ve got any crazy plans, but I don’t enjoy what this country is coming to.

Which really, makes me sad, because I think of all the vets that fought for this country. I bet they look at what it became and wonder where things went wrong. Some of them anyway. I really can’t believe Donald Trump is in the White House. Dear America, what in the HELL were you thinking? He was on TV, and you voted him in on that alone.

At least Hilary wouldn’t have made a social spectacle of herself. Personally, I would have voted Obama in for a third term if I could have. I honestly, just genuinely liked the guy. He tried like hell anyway.

Makes me sad, knowing that so many people who believed in this country… probably feel like they’ve been kicked in the gut. At least that’s the way I perceive it to be. I hate politics. I hate social media.

I’m not going to lie either, this thing with #roseannebarr really has me peeved a bit too. I’m not agreeing with calling people names in social media, don’t get me wrong, but don’t you think that the country kind of freaked out just a wee much over that? The only thing that comes to mind for me on that one is this… Roseanne didn’t change. Social Media did. Tom Arnold can attest to that, Roseanne’s always been a bitch who smack talks and says what she thinks.

She’s been that way since she made her presence known! She’s always talked shit. ALWAYS. Don’t you think that kind of got blown out of proportion? Just a wee bit? The thing is, the way she said it, they all should know DAMN WELL that was NOT what she meant. I wouldn’t have even thought of that UNTIL YOU THREW IT IN MY FACE, MEDIA!!!

My mom had to explain it to me, seriously. And then it pissed me off even more, because … that wasn’t what she meant.

YOU ALL KNOW THAT TOO!

This is my point. This is the shit that’s news. I don’t care about this stuff. No offense Roseanne, I don’t. But I do care about the fact that you’re getting your freedom of speech ripped out from underneath you. I suppose at a time like this, you’ve found out who your friends are. I hope that some of them are still able to sit down with you, and laugh about the stupidity of the world today.

It makes me realize that I really need to get out of the city. There’s not a doubt in my mind now, that I will be back in either Northern Michigan or Northern Wisconsin. I do not want to be in the city for more than another five to ten years.

Granted, I would probably be doing this same thing on a Saturday night there. But … maybe I wouldn’t be. I haven’t met someone I’d be interested in hanging out. The one I thought I had met, turned out to be much more of a fan of hanging out in a bar than at home after awhile, and … well, I guess I seen the true colors on that side. That’s all right, I really don’t enjoy hanging around alcohol all that much anyway.

I’d really like to find a pen pal. A guy pen pal. One back in that area. Someone I can get to know for about five years, and then move back there when the time’s right. I don’t want to have someone around all the time, because I am not used to it, and I don’t want to jump head first into anything. I’d like to get to know someone by exchanging letters first for awhile, then maybe an email or two. Maybe then a phone call, and in two years, possibly meet up. That’s not asking too much is it? I didn’t think so.

I’m going to talk about something now, that I haven’t talked about in a very, very long time. I don’t think he pays any attention to me, but after I reached out to him, and found that he was married with kids, I understood the Mrs. perspective, and stopped talking to him.

He broke my heart. His name was Jesse, and I met him as a pen pal through Metal Edge magazine. There were several times that he called and said he was coming to the UP, only for my heart to be broken when I didn’t hear from him for weeks. Not going to lie, Jesse was probably my first real … Love? I don’t know what you’d call it since we never met.

But we were supposed to. Once and for all. I was living in Milwaukee and Colette and I drove up for the weekend. Jesse and I had arranged to meet. I let him know that I knew the guitarist, thinking that he would talk to him if there were any issues on if we were coming. Chris knew that when we said we were coming, we were coming.

Colette and I didn’t get there until 9:30. I thought it was understood that we were going to be there. No matter what time it was, we’d be there. 9:30.

I waited until 3 am. He never showed up. Talk about being heart broken.

Only to find out later, that he was there, and he left at 8:30.

At that point, we had been friends for years. YEARS. I never could forgive that. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, and I guess, still does… but it does. I always thought that I was more than a friend to Jesse. And it really bothered me that he was in the same city, and never even bothered to meet me. Even if he didn’t like me that way, I thought we were at least friends.

I guess, that’s why it was so easy to believe it was Josh Todd that reached out to me after my Seattle/Portland shows in 2001.

That’s a story for another time…

But … I realize now, Jesse … really hurt my feelings. What a jerk.

But that’s besides the point. I’m just rambling now.

I really, just want a place to go on Saturday nights. Even if it’s to someone’s house, to play poker!

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