Music

What have you been listening to lately? What do you have on in the background? Lately, I’ve been all over the board. I will probably lose friends over this confession, but I even listened to the Backstreet Boys. 2x.

I’be come to realize that I want to be able to fine tune my pandora station. I’ve been putting it on, and letting it play, and I’ve got to add more variety to it. Remove a few artists, because I’m absolutely not a James Taylor fan, and they play way too many Carpenter songs. I haven’t heard any Jackson Browne, or Bruce Springsteen. Not that I want a ton of either, but I do enjoy a few of their songs. Or maybe I should start a Matchbox Twenty station. I always like me some Matchbox.

I’ve been thinking about a band that were friends once upon a time ago. I got a message a while back, about what songs would I want to hear at a Spirit Creek show. I hadn’t thought about Spirit Creek in such a long time. I got to thinking about that, and realized that there is only one song that pops to mind, “Rise.”

I hadn’t thought about those days in a really long time. Mostly because … I’m me I guess. I remember how the friendship started, and that was when they were my neighbors.

We went to see them in Detroit before we really became friends with them. Well, I became friends with them. That was kind of a wrench in the friendship with Colette, but it was them that took me in when she moved to Florida.

As I write this, I still have “Rise” going through my head. I think that one was always one of my favorites. That was one of the last ones Doug had written before I left. I apppreciated it because I knew what it meant.

Or where it came from I should say.

But I haven’t thought about Spirit Creek for a really, really long time. Though I’m friends with their drummer, guitarist, singer …. I hadn’t thought about Spirit Creek in a very, very long time. The last I stopped to see Doug before I left, they were home but they didn’t answer when i knocked. It was shortly after my DUI, and I have to admit that I hadn’t gotten pretty mad at him when he went to our pastor. I realize now he meant well, but back then I felt like I had been violated.

I owed him money, left the twenty, and i really don’t think we talked ever again. I seen him, but it was never a conversation. Not to mention, when I had to take the drunk driving class, I had to write a letter. I wrote it to him.

I don’t talk about that time. In fact, I don’t think I ever have before. But that was a hard time for me. I was alone in Milwaukee after that. But I managed. It was good that I did because I managed. I learned independence. More than I had before.

I did what I always do. I ran. I blamed him for something that I did. That’s not his fault, that was mine. I like to point fingers. I really hadn’t thought about that part of my life in a really, really long time.

After I wrote that above, I tried to find the video for Rise. All I could find was a video from a show at the Rave Bar in 2002. I had gotten a message a few weeks ago about what 12 songs I’d want to see in a live show. I forgot about it, because nothing came to mind immediately when I first seen it. But I thought about the people I’d see, like old times. Kim, Curt, Brian, Melissa, Steve. People that have still been around even thought we aren’t super buddy buddy, they’re there. And always have been. I want to see them. And if there’s music we all know and love, even better. But Curt will be playing that… 🙂 Everyone actually. It would be fun.

I hadn’t thought about Doug for a long, long time. There’s no secret how I felt there, and that again, was all my fault. He didn’t do anything to encourage anything, because he really was hopelessly head over heels over his now wife of ten plus years.

My DUI. I know that he felt responsible. Because he wanted us to stay at his house, and Tiffany had to go home. And I drove the wrong way down a one way street.

I’m very lucky that I got stopped by that police man. Though then I was very embarrassed over my stupidity, but now, I don’t drive drunk, because I don’t drink. You kind of learn a lesson when you do something that stupid.

It’s hard to believe that was so long ago now. Would I want to see those people? Absolutely. They were all very special to me. It would be like a family reunion. I really hope that they do it.

I didn’t realize how much I’d kept in regarding that. It’s just that the topic doesn’t come up, but when it does, it’s always a flood gate. Always. Next year is my 30 year class reunion year too. I don’t know that they’re doing anything, but I’ve been hoping that I can get back for that. It would be good to have that to look forward to.

Different subject. That one’s making me feel all weird inside. Nostalgic.

That all reminds me of a different poem. Season, Reason, Lifetime.

http://nataliecutsforth.com/is-your-relationship-for-a-reason-a-season-or-a-lifetime/

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