My friend, the Roku

I guess this one is for my friends that pay way too much for their tv viewing. I love the Roku, and am very glad for this tiny little gadget.

The most recent reason I love this thing, is for a channel that I was introduced to. The Pluto Channel.

My brother told me about the channel, because it’s like a cable grid of channels. If you like shows like Forensic Files or Unsolved Mysteries, these channels inside of this channel will play these shows for 24 hours a day.

In addition to these channels, they also have music channels. Up until today, I really never explored all that was on there. But I didn’t want to listen to talking, I wanted to listen to tunes.

I have Amazon music, I have Pandora, but I just was flipping through the Pluto TV channels. I found these beauties. There’s a station for the Rat Pack, oldies, you know the normal ones. I stopped on one called the Strip, and read about it being a part of sunset strip music scene in the 80s.

Holy moly, does this station ROCK! There was one song that was beginning, that sounded familiar. I didn’t think it could be that song though, I hadn’t heard it in 20 years! I got up to look at the name on the screen.

“Hot Cherie” by the band, Hardline.

I know you haven’t heard that song, because I haven’t heard it in 20 years. Unless of course you were an 80s music junkie like myself.

This little device cost me I think 20 or 30 bucks, but I will tell you, that has saved me more than I ever even thought. Because I really don’t watch much tv. The Walking Dead season, completely different story, but otherwise, I really don’t have shows that I watch. I have tv on for back ground noise, they’re all so familiar now… so it’s perfect for me. This one that I’m sharing, is one of the fancy voice ones. Still a decent price.

Other channels that I utilize. Pandora. Amazon Prime. (I’m going to pay for the the service anyway, I’m going to utilize what tv I get. However, the quality of Amazon Prime tv is not what it once was. The Pluto Channel. The Roku Channel. Those last two channels have many, many tv shows and movies. All you get is a few blocks of commercials. Four at a time. I watched Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, with Gene Wilder thank you very much, the other day before work. It was wonderful!

If you’re looking to save some money, and don’t want to have $200 tv bills, sincerely look into the Roku. I love mine, so much that I now have two. I think I’ll always have one since I’ll always have the internet.

Thank you, Roku inventors and investors!!

The Soundtrack of Life

Ever get songs stuck in your head? I’ve been getting the Jefferson’s theme song a lot. I know why, because I’m movin’ on up… to the east side, to a deluxe apartment …. but it’s not in the sky and that’s as far as it goes. I seen it Saturday. I cried. I didn’t mean to, but I did.

I am very excited for this new chapter for me. New. I firmly believe that this change is what I need. I’m getting rid of so much stuff that I haven’t even looked at in years. That is very … uplifting. I was going to sell a bunch of it, but why. When there are so many donation bins around. Someone will benefit from it, why should it be me.

Truthfully, I know I don’t want the hassle, and that’s why I’m not going to even try. Makes me feel better too.

I’m excited for the new chapter, because this is what I needed. A fresh new start. It’s not the answer to everything, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Another thing that crosses my mind every day that I have added to the sound track of my life. I don’t know what you’d call it really, because it’s not a song, but it’s a sound. It’s a commercial actually. Tell me if you remember this.

Time to make the donuts

What’s on your soundtrack of life? I’m sure I’ve got a lot more, but that’s the most recent ones. Wait, here’s one. “Walk” by Pantera. I don’t know what it is, but it makes me straighten up and walk a little more confident. Gotta love Pantera. *RIP Dimebag..

How I Met Your Mother

Did anyone else watch this entire series? If not and intend to, I just want to say spoiler alert. I’m coming to find out that I suck at this part of life. I potentially ruined to autobiographies for someone the other day because I assumed things. Good things I left my comment to short sentences so it will make it more intriguing to get them to want to read books if said comments aren’t in the movies.

Anyway, back to the original question. Did you watch this entire series? I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but when the set was given to me I binged. And then I rebinged. It became familiar in my background, and it made me laugh. Probably why I did the whole Barney Stinson thing a few days ago.

I can relate to Ted. It’s because it’s just his autobiography. And how he met the one.

That’s not what my story is, because right now the one is a two. Max and I. On to our next chapter.

He truly has become my partner. My dog. Who would have thought it. But he’s the one who’s helped me grow into what I am today. There’s been a lot of people along the way, but lately, it’s been this guy.

He’s wondering what’s going on. Boxes are getting packed. Bags are being piled at the door to be dropped off at some donation place. I’ve got four of them to choose from. What charities are what, is what I’ll have to look into I suppose.

But he knows that something is going on. I don’t know if he gets it, but I try to reassure him all the time, “you’re coming with, honey. I promise.”

He’s the one who helped me grow up and become responsible. He’s the reason that I don’t go and do stupid things when I really hurt. And every day, I am more thankful that he came to me when he did.

He taught me unconditional love, responsibility, respect, trust, and so much more. It scares me how much I love him, because I know. Some day. I pray every day for his hips to get better, and for him to lose a little bit more.

We’ll get there, my boy, I promise. Mom”s working on everything in her power.

… Max had an injury about a year ago, which is what this is all stemming from. Now, it’s arthritis because of the cold. He still takes me for walks though, which is why I love winter. In the summer, the heat he does not enjoy. He absolutely adores the snow. The puppy in him comes out.

…..

People are scared when they hear you have depression. What scares them even more, is when you’re not embarrassed anymore that you’ve suffered from it. It’s a fact of life. I’m trying to move on with it, why can’t they?

Depression isn’t a bad thing if you try to understand what you’re dealing with. It sucks, let me rephrase that, but that’s the point. You’re dealing with it. You are facing it head on and are looking down that barrel saying, “I don’t think so, asshole.”

Sorry, I see it in my head that my depression is down at the end of that barrel, and I’m trying to keep it at bay.

Sometimes, what I think is depression, is big girl feelings too. Meaning, I really am just truly, growing into being an adult. Coming to grips with that too, is also very scary . This is psychology talking, but it legitimizes my feelings. That hey wait a minute, I’m 47 years old, and it’s okay to finally want to be treated like it.

I have no idea what that had to do with Ted Mosby. I’m out of half and half, and I havne’t brought myself to drink my coffee black. ****My point being, going back to the coffee blog, I’m useless with out it.

Have a great day, thanks for stopping in.

My Maximus

Can I just say, the last three months have been a hard three months. I realize now, that they’ve all caught up to me, and today, I’m sick and tired. Literally.

I lost my job in February. In a lot of ways, I didn’t mind since I really did hate that job. I liked the people I worked with, but I was bored out of my mind. And no matter how much I begged for more work, apparently, they didn’t see any use for me to do anything extra.

Not to mention, I never thought I ‘d be in a call center again. I never wanted to me. I thought that there was going to be more to the job, which was the only reason I took it in the first place! But nope. And customer service turned out to be a term that they used loosely, in my opinion.

I had three weeks of searching for a job, that found me at the place where I’m at now. I will tell you, that I believe, this is the last job I’ll ever have. I sincerely see myself retiring from here. When I started, I gave 100%. I pushed myself hard. Which I feel now. I am exhausted, and I am tired.

I love the job, because it’s challenging, and I like it. It’s everything that I enjoy. I think right now, what I’m experiencing, is just a feeling of overwhelming fear. I do a lot of stuff that is important that I don’t screw up. And that right there is intimidating. I know that what I do is being watched. Because it’s important. And I can’t screw up. But now I find myself second guessing myself, and doubting my knowledge and my trust in what I know.

That makes my anxiety go through the roof. I haven’t been able to relax in weeks. I don’t know what to do to calm my mind, my soul. I don’t like when I get to feeling like this, because I just truly, want a peace of mind. And I don’t know how to find it.

I realize now, I was pushing myself so hard because I’m so desperate for financial independence. I am working for a goal, I’ve got things I want to start working on, and I”m really sick and tired of living in an apartment. I want a yard. I want a yard for Max, because he is sick of always sitting up on the porch. He wants a lawn, and I want him to have a lawn. I don’t want to be outside all the time, and he should be able to be out if he wants to be. And not constantly on a chain or a leash! I want a porch I can go sit on and not have to talk to sixty people who walk by. (The people below and above me are always exceptions to that though, I have awesome neighbors.)

I have never done what others have already done in their lives. I’ve always had second hand stuff and what I’ve gotten new were gifts. I’ve never bought furniture. I’ve never bought a bed. This is the stuff i find myself wanting to do now. So much money i flushed down the drain in the last twenty years, and it’s really disappointing to realize this now. HOwever, there is nothing I can do about that now. I can only be smarter going forward. And that’s my goal.

I’ve gotten a lot of debt paid off. And I feel pretty proud of myself that I am looking at the future, instead of dealing day to day. It’s a new experience, and I”m sure that’s where some of the anxiety comes from as well. I’m going to start working on the creative visualization on finding a cheap house close by with a nice yard and a fence. 🙂

Max is doing so much better than he was. I was freaking out, and I didn’t realize how worried I’d made myself. Until I wasn’t worrying about him anymore. Dr. Gold got him better, right now he’s just got some arthritis issues, but for the most part 100% better. A friend made him a ramp for the car, and now we can go every where.

Now to find a place we can go that there’s not 100 people around. That’s the main reason I don’t go anywhere. The traffic around here is HORRIBLE! I hate dealing with that these days.

But my Max… he’s doing great. He took me for a great walk this morning. He pushed himself too. He didn’t want to rest, he walked the entire time we were out. He’s going to celebrate 7 years with Mom tomorrow.

I love that furball more than I can even describe. He’s the best. Expensive, but the best. I’m pretty sure we got him stable now though, and the glucosamine is making all the difference in the world. (I think I calculated $800 since December, in vet expenses.) He’s happier than I’ve seen him in a very long time.

Have a great day .

7

Five Finger Death Punch

I’ve been struggling for some time, to figure out what the hell I am supposed to do with all this passion I have for this band. Honestly, I don’t know why I have it. I know that for a long time, I needed something in my life, and they supplied that.

I love them all personally, for the different things that I’ve gained in my life from what they have contributed. And for that I will always be grateful.

With this new album that was released yesterday, and not completely understanding what that lawsuit was all about, has left me with a lot of questions, in which I guess I have to finally try to find the answers to. I didn’t think I wanted to know, but now… I really think I have to.

In my line of work, I have to look at a lot of contracts now, and I really got to wondering what was their suit all about. Was the record company suing them? I think so. And that raised questions for me, why.

What did they not do? What were they refusing to do? What was it truly all about? D id their record company fail to follow through, and if so, on what? Which then got me thinking about the whole American Capitalist thing, and wondering… was that when they signed the contract? If so… Hmmm, just got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

I can appreciate wanting it all, and doing what it takes to get there. But where is the line of when you signed something, and when you decided ah, I don’t give a shit about what I signed. I don’t want that anymore, and who cares.

That’s what I see every damn day. EVERY day. People signing things, and failing to follow through.

I know about failing to follow through, I’m the queen of failing to follow through. Thing is though, when I sign something, that’s a different story. I’ve promised something to someone in exchange for something.

When did that stop meaning anything to anyone?

I think that’s what’s on my mind lately, and guess i have to do some research to find out the truth. I put a lot into those guys, and I really appreciated the work that they’ve done, because I felt that they meant what they said. What they represented.

I can’t help but think of a veteran that they have supported, these guys are very supportive of the troops. How is their situation different from anyone of them? I mean, what about a guy who signed up, and then decided he didn’t like what he signed up for. He can’t just walk away, now can he? Or put up a stink so he doesn’t have to do something. It’s not that easy… So I guess, I just got to thinking about the questions.

No disrespect to the guys, I am grateful that they are still going. I guess, I would have just liked to have seen it all in a more positive light.

#fivefingerdeathpunch

The Walking Dead

Who’s ready for tonight? Not me. I’m already worrying about the next show. Only three more episodes left of Unsolved.. I’m going to be lost!

Anyway, nothing major going on, but I want to share on little nugget of knowledge that has come to light in my life.

If they won’t share the canned air now, I’m pretty sure I’ll be one to survive in the zombie apocalypse then .

Random. But true.

Happy Sunday.

The Real Reason

I’ve got something major on my mind, and I don’t know how to handle it.  It’s really starting to scare me.

It’s Max. My six year old lab mix.  The love of my life. He hurt himself a few months ago, and I thought he’d be better by now, but it’s actually seeming worse.  I don’t know what to do about it.  Take him to the vet, yeah, I’m on that. But I had to wait until I had some money in my account. I was without a check for a little while. I’ve got responsibilities! But Max … I can’t take seeing him like this anymore.

He’s not even going on walks right now. I know he’s in pain, and it’s his hips. I’m sure it’s arthritis, but I’m asking my vet to just do what we need to to get him working again. It’s painful to see him try to stand up.  His mind’s sharp as heck still, but he does hurt.  I see it in his eyes. 😥

I want more of a life for him. Other than sitting in this apartment.  I miss our walks. I really do. I could go for a walk alone, but … I enjoyed my walks with Max. I want that back.

Now you know … the rest of the story.