A Minute

I think that the main reason I haven’t been here more often as of late, is because this place is a reminder of how foolish Ive been in my life. The bands.

Most recently, I had an experience with a band that I had followed for 26 years. You see, I had been a follower of Jackyl for a long time. I met them years ago, in a parking lot when they were opening for the band Damn Yankees, you know the one with Tommy Shaw and Ted Nugent.

I had only heard one song of theirs before I seen them live. My mom and dad bought me their first release for Christmas that year. Turns out that there was a lot in my life going on at that time, none that I was actually aware of at that time.

I don’t really feel up to sharing that part of my life just yet. I don’t know who even reads this if anyone, and if there are people who knew me in my hometown at that time, really didn’t know about it.

Because of this part, I’m pretty sure that was why I attached myself to that band, and Jeff Worley.

It angers me beyond belief to realize it took me this long to figure out that part. Seeing them this last time, made me realize what sorts of dickheads I wasted way too much time on money on. (Excuse my language, but I’ll tell you why I’m using such language shortly)

I have no regrets where Chris Worley or Roman Glick are concerned. Though I still don’t know Roman, he’s a always been pleasant with me, and he’s a damn good bass player. I love to watch him, he’s entertaining.

Chris. Well, Chris has always been very nice, and real to me. Genuine. Even if he didn’t like me, I never knew that. For that, I’m thankful.

But where the other two are concerned. Wow. Wow. Wow. Talk about thinking they’re all that an then some. Who in the hell do they think that they are? They think that they are rockstars and above us wee folk.

At least that’s how they acted with me.

Talk about disappointing. But I got my peace.

I was surprised that I did it really, but after I did…. Wow, I felt pretty amazing!

I wrote a letter to Chris Worley last week. In this letter, I gave him the pictures I had hoped to give both him and Jeff at the show in April. But I had to go through that damn line, and well, they weren’t given to him. I went through the other pictures I had, and found a pile to send along, because I realized… I don’t want to remember that crap anymore. I ripped up a lot of them, but I thought Chris would at least appreciate looking at them. Pictures of Virgil when they did Super V at McPs in Clemson.

I told him this is how I wanted to remember this chapter. I don’t want to remember all the time I wasted on Jackyl. I wanted to remember Super V. I also reminded him that out of all the shows that I’d been to, I had paid for all of those shows. And the fact that I couldn’t get five minutes… well, I needed him to let his brother know that his behavior was …. well, pretty disgusting in my opinion. Jesse’s too. I had $58 to my name that morning, for a week and a half, and I spent $34 on that ticket. I didn’t have any money for merchandise. And to be IGNORED because of that fact. Acted like he didn’t even see me, SCREW YOU JESSE DUPREE.

Anyway, also the best part of this letter was… I sent Jeff’s book back with the letter, and stated maybe Jeff could get a few bucks back for resale because it’s worthless to me now.

I went and mailed it out that day. And I smiled when I dropped it in the box. I did not realize how good that would make me feel. It was amazing to tell someone how much of an asshole they really were, without actually saying those exact words.

Wow. I realized that he really did think he was that great, but … wow, dude, Jeff….. you wouldn’t be anything without the people who pay for your tickets. You seemed to have forgotten that, Mr. Freaking ROCKSTAR.

I sent it to Jeff’s painting studio or whatever it is. he’s got paintings on sale on that website anyway. Uh, let’s just say, I wouldn’t pay for any of those. People will pay for them though because of that rockstar billing behind it. Someone needs to remind him where he started.

As for Jesse, I’ve got one word. Douchebag.

Then there’s the whole 5FDP obsession thing. Wow.. That was scary. I really didn’t see it as a problem. But I can tell you the exact moment I realized what it was. When Ivan got his head and face tattoos. I realized what he’s doing, and well, I didn’t want to watch it. I don’t want to see what’s going on in his life. Any of their lives. Because it doesn’t make me fell any better seeing such stupidity. *Sorry but that head tattoo was a breaking point. Stop with the tattoos, man. You’ve just turned one problem into another one, and well, you look like an idiot.

Just my opinion. But you do. Red Dragon, what in the hell were you thinking?

I actually unfollowed them all on that day. I really don’t want to know anything. I dont’ want to give them anymore of my money if that’s what they’re going to do with what we give them.

However, they have song on that new album, “And Justice for None”.

If it doesn’t automatically come up, please click on it. It’s a song called I Refuse. It’s also a lyric video that goes along with the music, and I will tell you that every album they have one that is just perfect for me. Singing along with the words encourages me. For that, I will always be grateful for that band. Thank you Five Finger Death Punch. Together, you have gotten me through a lot of shit. Thank you.

And you always help with my courage. I’m braver because of the music you play. Thank you.

And Jason Hook sounds so wonderful in the middle of the song… that acoustic…

Jason still makes my heart skip a beat, but I’m a realist. More than I’ve ever been before.

The Purge

I’d like to say that I’m talking about Pete the Cop from the tv show, The Purge, but not today. (Side note, did anyone watch that 10 episode show on TNT? I loved it.)

Dominic Fumusa as Pete the Cop

But today, I’m talking about the great purge of 9D. I’d been doing okay, a little here and a little there, but I’ve decided that I’m in for the day, and it’s time to get a move on.

What’s been surprising to me, is that I’m actually enjoying the whole process. Getting rid of things feels amazing, and really… it’s just stuff that I’ve been holding on for someday.

I’m not throwing away much. I’ve decided to donate a lot. So that will benefit a charity close by. But I’m also going to see some stuff. I didn’t realize just how many things i have that I don’t even use. They’re just … there.

I’m sure at one point I felt I had to keep them. I look at them now, and remember why, and I realize it’s okay to let go. Sounds silly, but expressing the gratitude for the time I had it seems to be able to make that process easier.

I realize more than ever before, I really do want this to be the best chapter of life. My chapter five.

And just as a tribute, and a reminder of where I got the name for my website…

From the book, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk, by Portia Nelson. I find it so profound, because I find it easier to move past the silly stuff when I put it in the perspective of this. I do have to say Ms. Nelson was a very interesting lady, and I do plan to elaborate on that some day. But for today, I just want to remind the world of her contribution into my mind. Even if indirectly, however, more directly than most.

Enjoy your day. Thanks for checking in. Leaving on a positive thought ….